Fire

آری، آری ، زندگی زیباست زندگی آتشگهی دیرنده پا برجاست گر بیفروزیش، رقص شعله اش در هر کران پیداست ورنه، خاموش است وخاموشی گناه ماست سیاوش کسرایی / / / / / Life is like fire, can burns forever. If we turn it on we can see flame dances from far away, other wise its dark and thats our fault.

nemidoonam man adame khod khahiam,
ya az bas az khodam gozashtam, dige hich kas fekr nemikone ke manam adamam va momkene ke ehsasi dashteh basham...


nemidoonam

bazi vaghtha delet mikhad ke vaghti nisti, mardom deleshoon barat tang beshe.

bazi vaghtha ba inke hame chiz khoobe, ya mitoone khoob bashe. koli deltangi dare be havaye tamame azizani ke pishet nistand, oon mogheh yehoo hameye ehsasaetet favaran mikone, halet ro degargoon mikone. tooy in halo hava, miayeeh hey message eshghoolaneh mizari, hey message mizari, hey montazeri ke bebinishoon on line o bahashoon harf bezani.

bad mibini ke hich kasi, engar hich vaghti online nist. bad mibini ke email hat fagaht ye reply gereftan, " ma ham haminjoor" .....

bad be khoodet shak mikoni,
yani jedi jedi daram ghat mizanam?
yani manam shodam mamanam ke nemitoonam az chizi lezat bebaram ta hame pisham nabashan?

bad fekr mikoni ke chera hame ehsasatam vabasteh shodeh be ye nafare dige? be salamo ahval porsie ye nafare dige? be inke aya oon nafar rooze khoobi dashteh ya na?


ba khodoet migi hatman daran fekr mikonand ke to ke oonja dari eshgho halet ro mikoni bezar pas ma ham halesho bebarim, nemidoonand cheghadr delet gerefteh va jaye khali daree..

be khodet migi, dige 2 ta emaile dige bezanam hatman sedashoon laaghal tooy deleshoon dar miad "ke chera velemoon nemikoni baba jan, hala 2 rooz rafti mosaferat, hey ye band migi kojayee kojayee...."

ba khodet migi ye email bezanam beporsam dirooz koja raftan chi kar kardan, bad migi hatman mige, to chegahdr hasas shodi, chera gir midi... to khoodet koja booodi?

nemigi ke chegadhr montazeri ke yeki behet email bede bege " azizam nemidooni cheghadr jat khaliee" bege azizam khili dooset daram o be yadetam, nemigi ke delet message az tahe ghalb mikhad na message formalite....nemigi ke chegahdr delet mikhad behet tellephone konando haleto beporsand....
nemigi ke har vingi ke mishnavi fekr mikoni ke messagee azash gerfti... nemigi ke bad az ye kivan ab khoordan miayee dobare email hato chek koni o chato ke shayad on shodeh bashee ya khabari messagee gerefteh bashi, va mibini ke na, va moghe az khoone biroon raftan, message kojayeeee kojayeeeeeee akhee mizari,
nemigi ke delet nemikhad javabe in hame deltangit va harvaght yadesh miofti ashket dar miadet faghat " man on shodam baz ham shoma naboodid" nabasheee

ama bazam nemidooni chi kar koni ba in deltangi...



ina ro nemigi, ama fekr mikoni ke shayad jedi jedi daram khol misham........

We are walking,
I saw a writing on a church:
"Torture is wrong"
I'm thinking about all the news today, "duhhhhhhh"


my friends smiles at the sign and says:
"Do you remember we wanted to write a book about how to torture?"

I remember ......

Labels: Me and Myself

delam mikhad ashegh basham..........

listening to Nazeri talking about love,

I was weeping

touching the trees,
feeling them.

thinking about Moooshak,
remembering the conversations about love with "d"
replacing mooshak with those,

and thinking can ppl really swim in love, even after having each other for ages?...

and again i want to be in love and stay in love...

I had my drinks
I'm walking in a famous street,
Wearing a strapless dress,
having a good makeup, looking pretty.

listening to Nazeri's Yadegare doost,
weeping all over my face and neck,
feeling my tears are washing out my make up,
and still weeping.

Not sure, if its beacuse of "bigharario doorie"
if its beacuse of the drinks?
or is it Nazeri?
or is it the song?
or is it Asheghi?
or is it the news?

چرا تو خیلی راحت میتونی بگی :
" نه, من نمیخوام تو این کار رو بکنی. "


اما من نمیتونم, .

?????????????






اما من نمیتونم, اینو بگم, و بجاش همش سعی میکنم

یا به جای اینکه بگم:
من: نمیخوام, تو. . "

خودم رو به کم قانع میکنم و تو رو تحریک میکنم که انجام بدی کاری رو که ناراحتم میکنه و همه ی اعصابم و طرز فکرم رو به هم میریزه اگه انجامش بدی,


یا اینکه سعی میکنم خودت جوری منطق رو بزاری کنار هم که خودت نخواهی این کار رو بکنی. . .



.......................

جالبه که برام راحت تره با فشار عصبی ادامه بدم,

یا ازت جدا بشم, اما واضح نگم که تو حق نداری این کار رو بکنی



چرا؟ ؟ ؟ ؟ ؟

Labels: Me and Myself, What do YOU think?

delam mikhasat ye doost dashtam, mishod alan behesh zang bezanam berim ye jayee beshinim coffee bokhorimo harf bezanim.


khili ehsase kamboode ye doost ro mikonam vaghti ke mibinam baghie raftan khooneye doostashoon va maman ham nist.
adam delesh hesabi migiree
yeki ro mikhay ke taghriban tooy seno mogheiate to bashe va betooni beshini bahash koli haraf bezani....

----: چطور منو نگاه میکنی؟ کارم داری؟

من: نه. تو الآن صدا کردی منو.



----: نه, ! ! ! من صدات نکردم.

من: چرا, صدام کردی خودت نمیدونی, حتما از بس منو دوست داری, ناخود آگاه اسم منو به زبون میاری و صدام میکنی ولی خودت متوجه نمیشی.

----: نه خیرم, تو از بس صدای منو دوست داری, هی توی گوشت میپیچه.

جریان را برام اینجوری تعریف کرد که وسط بزرگراه بوده و بوی سوختگی از ماشین میاد, ماشین رو نگاه میدارند, توی لاین سرعت و میبیند که سر و صدا و بوی ماشین بیشتر میشه, ماشین رو ول میکند و از وسط بزرگراه رد میشن تا به جای امن برسند, بد از یه مدت ماشین منفجر میشه, عکس های که از ماشین گرفت بود نشون میداد خمیدگی قسمتهای ماشین رو بعد از سوختگی.

میگم یعنی چی, مسول موتور این ماشین کی بوده؟ اگر یه توریتون میشود چی؟

میگه, بیمه ماشین یه میلیون میداد اگر میمردم.

میگم بیمه به نه دردی میخوره اگر میمردی؟

میگه تو یه میلیون نمیخوای؟

میگم, اگر تو بمیری یه میلیون که هیچی, 10 میلیون هم بخوام چی کار؟



میگه پس حالا که پول نمیخوین شماها, اگر من مردم برای پزمان یه خونه بزرگ بخرید

Labels: Life, Love

Its 8 o Clock on Friday. I was expecting to go to T.O today but SSS has stuff to do and we are leaving tomorrow. Although I have lots of work to do but I'm extremely broad, in the way that "dasto delam be hich kari nemire". I came back from T.O two nights ago....
SSS went to have fun with his firends and Mooshak is in another firends house. I'm feeling so missed over there!.
I think I'm getting so spoiled.........

I'm just writing to remember, how much mooshak helped me out during the thesis writing and specially fixing the writing.
From the time that I went into the bed around 4 o clock, and in his sleep he asked me if i finished the correction and I said didn't work any more, and he asked me why i didn't wake him up to help me!.
and I said I'd not going to wake up at the middle of night to help me fixing my stuff.
and he responded that: the thesis is important for you and is not some thing that happens all the time.....

I found that conversation one of the most romantic talks....

and last night when he was so tired after staying at work till 7, and then he did shopping and had to make food for the day after, which made him very frustrated. It was around 9 o clock that i've asked him a question and he told me that he just start having rest after the long day and he worked on my question till every thing was fixed at 12 and he went to bed.

I should really keep these in mind and appreciate him.
Although I would have done the same thing. Which i think thats the beauty and a miracle of the relationship, that you go out of your way, you break your comfort level to help the other person when they need it.
Hope it would be the same way all the time.

اوایل اردیبهشت

من: چرا سبز ه ات انداختی توی سطل آشغال؟ من امسال سبز ه خودمون را هم گره نزدم, میرفتیم گره میزدیمش مینداختیمش توی آب, شاید بختمون باز بشه.

چپ چپ نگاه ام میکنه.

میخوای- بختت باز شه قبول کن همیشه آشپزی میکنی.

من: عزیزم کاری که با یک سبز ه گر زدن بشه کرد که آدم قول نمیده به جاش هر روز تا آخر عمرش کاری رو بکنه

Labels: Life